With children, dealing with pet's death honestly is best | Animals ...

For many children, the passing of a beloved pet might be a child?s first experience dealing with death. And how parents handle that loss can greatly impact an adult?s memory of that early childhood experience, making it difficult for some adults to adopt again.

According to a survey conducted by American Humane Association?s Animal Welfare Research Institute, 40% of adults surveyed say the loss of a childhood pet from injury, disease or old age continues to affect them as adults. But an even greater number of adults (45%) note that they are still affected by a pet that was given away, ran away or had an uncertain disposition.

Respondents in the survey said their memories of their pet?s loss were impacted by how their parents dealt with and shared (or not shared) the loss with them. Whether it?s a nurturing experience in honor of a loved pet or a negative experience in which the parent gave away the pet without the child?s knowledge, they said how their parents choose to handle the loss of their pets had an impact overall on their lives.

After reading a few comments, it?s easy to see what kids need.

??.I was only five when we had to euthanize [our pet] due to cancer. My parents did note tell me until they brought him home to bury in our backyard. I can still remember sitting there bawling. That was 36 years ago.?

In other words, this little girl didn?t get to say goodbye to her pet.

??I was a lonely little girl, living with my father as my parents fought over my custody. This little dog was ALL I had?.. She was taken away from me, I never was told where to and I?ve never forgotten her? it was traumatic.?

This little girl suffered the loss of her pet because of a divorce. Neither parent took custody of the dog. (Sadly, I can relate. My parents gave away our two dogs and I never knew what happened to them, but in my case, it didn?t make it harder for me to adopt. It just meant I wanted to help them more because now I understood the circumstances of some dogs at the shelter.)

? ? I remember the details very clearly of his sudden illness, going to the vet, him being euthanized, and bringing him home to be buried?. I?ve always been thankful to my parents that the situation was handled with grace and dignity for our beloved Barney??

This child experienced every detail of her pet?s illness and perhaps was part of the family?s decision-making process along the way. As a result, she is grateful to her parents for the care they gave to her beloved friend and for being a part of this pet?s life and retains fond memories of the loss.

Shielding children from the pet loss, whether through re-homing or illness, does not allow them to go through a normal grieving process, which may be the reason some people have trouble adopting again after a pet loss. Highlighting the emotional intricacies of the human-animal bond, one in five (20%) of previous dog owners and one in six (17%) of previous cat owners cited the loss of a beloved dog or cat as a reason they chose not to have another.

The survey backed the recent findings in a pet ownership study released earlier this year by the American Humane Association and PetSmart Charities. In Phase One of the ?Keeping Pets (Dogs and Cats) in Homes Retention Study,? interviews with more than 1,000 previous pet owners revealed that lasting grief over the loss of a previous pet can be a significant obstacle towards owning a new pet.

Helping people overcome their grief and reluctance to own another pet in adulthood is vital to increasing adoptions at shelters and decreasing the number of animals euthanized. Parents play a role in forging these early experiences.

For some parental tips on how to help kids cope with grief, visit the ASPCA.

To see the full study, visit http://www.americanhumane.org/people-pets-and-the-world-we.pdf

Source: http://blog.mysanantonio.com/animals/2012/11/with-children-dealing-with-pets-death-honestly-is-best/

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